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Q: Dear Laurie,

I have been with my boyfriend for three years. We have been living together for one year, and we get along great usually. I would like to get married within a couple of years, and he doesn't seem interested. He doesn't like to discuss the subject, and says we will talk about it in a year. I don't want to leave him, but I do want a commitment.  What should I do?

A: Dear "You Should Dump Him"-

Hmm, I am so undecided about what "You Should Dump Him" should do. Let's review. "You Should Dump Him" has been dating her boyfriend for three years and living with him for one. That's twelve seasons of man. I usually recommend a minimum of four seasons, ie one year and "You Should Dump Him" has three times that. Gee, this is a toughie. Let's explore further.

He doesn't seem interested in marriage and "You Should Dump Him" wants a commitment. Two people with two diametrically opposed views on the future of their relationship. Gosh, I am drawing a real blank! "You Should Dump Him" goes on to say, He doesn't like to discuss the subject, and says we will talk about it in a year. Wait a minute. I think I've got it! "You Should Dump Him" should zip it and hang in for a mere 365 more days and then go back to the oracle I mean her boyfriend to hear what pearls he has to dispense.

Oh, for crying out loud! You know exactly what you should do. You're just not so keen on acting on it. Three years of this guy standing on one foot then the other, getting exactly what he wants, telling you to shut your pretty mouth.enough already! You want marriage. He doesn't. Bye bye.

And, besides, what kind of marriage will you have with a guy who won't communicate? How in the world will you raise kids with a man who says, we'll talk about it in a year. Repeat after me, embroider this on a hanky, use it as a screensaver:

What You Date Is What You Marry.

If you date a man who is controlling and non-communicative and you decide to marry that man, you are marrying a man who is controlling and non-communicative. Tinker Bell does not pay a honeymoon visit and sprinkle instant-change dust on your partner. I know that's hard to believe. And while we're at, it Elvis is dead. Deal with it.

If this guy wanted to marry you he would have married you already. Why? Because in the booty department guys do what they want/need to do. He's either not the marrying type or not the marrying-you type but either way you're not getting married. At this point, the distinction is meaningless. Move on. Or stay with him and give up on marriage. It's your CHOICE, get it?

The Short Answer: Who is this guy to put off a conversation you need to have? You've been more than patient. Your relationship is a partnership, supposedly. If he needed to discuss something that made you uncomfortable do you think he'd accept you saying let's talk about in a year? Jeopardy answer: what is get out. Relationships require give and take from both sides. Time for you to accept what you've been given and take yourself out of there.

Lovingly&logically yours,
Laurie