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Q: When a woman stares at him from a distance, does this mean she's mad, hates, or is interested in him.
A: Dear Love Question Boy,
From my early pysch. classes I learned context is everything. For example, if Staring Woman is screaming at the top of her lungs and waving her arms (and staring) it'd be ok if she were, say, at a Green Day concert and still ok if she were witnessing a horrible car accident but less ok at a Barneys' sale less and really less ok (very weird actually) sitting home alone on the sofa.
Scenario A: Staring Mad
Let us go to your Staring Woman. Is she staring "at him from a distance" in a nut house? Could very well be she's mad as you suggest. Mad, I tell you, MAD! Or perhaps catatonic or both. Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of a staring woman in a nut house.
Scenario B: Staring Hate
Is said woman staring poolside as she watches her dude ogle a bikini-clad babe? Well, then yes, of course, Staring Woman hates this guy's guts because she's insecure, hates herself and also because the ogling guy is Rudeoff Valentino.
Scenario C: Staring Interest
Perhaps Staring Woman and Love Question Boy are at a party. Why, yes! A festive holiday soirée complete with canapés and champagne flutes. She wears a stunning, red, off-the-shoulder taffeta number and leans seductively into the hors d'oeuvre table. While wantonly sampling caviar on toast points she stares at him from a distance because.because.because she is interested in him! Yes! Love Question Boy has hit the Staring Woman and her intentions on the head.
Staring Woman is interested. Because in lieu of unladylike behavior such as throwing a man over her shoulder and dragging him off to the cave a women relies on her small arsenal of seductive weapons one of which is demurely staring in the hopes a guy will pick up on the hint. Because boys (and men) need big, Texas-sized charts drawn for them when in pursuit of the female species. And even then things go awry.
Because what does Love Question Boy do when our heroine is as obvious as she can be about her interest in him (within legal limits with no exchange of money)? Does he knock back his martini, smooth his hair back, straighten his bow tie and saunter on over to this gorgeous siren? No, of course not! He does nothing of the sort. He throws his martini over his shoulder, turns tail, runs home, logs on to the Internet and writes a total stranger (me) a question about a woman staring him down.
He actually leaves Staring Woman right where she is so she can stare down the next bow tie that strikes her fancy. And guess what? This next tie, having had enough liquid courage to seal the deal, actually makes good on her stare. Yup. He walks right up to her, says a cheesy line at which she laughs and the two leave the party and live happily ever after.
The Short Answer: Love Question Boy, are you listening? More importantly, are you looking? Because I am so staring you down right now. I am in my pajamas eating Life cereal and staring like there is no tomorrow. In our pretend scenario, taken down a few notches for comfort, you return my stare, hike up your underoos, grab a spoon and bowl of your own and say, "Hey, Mikey," as you casually grab a chair and partake of some morning nirvana. How smooth. I laugh, by the way, and offer you some 2%. See how easy that was?
Bottomline: we're all just people in our pj bottoms trying to make a connection any which way we can. At a party, a nuthouse, over breakfast-we're just trying to make contact. And now for the musical interlude portion of the program:
People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.
lovers are very special people. They're the luckiest people in the world.
But first be a person who needs people.
So, keep that in mind the next time life provides you with an opportunity to grab it by the.toast points.
Lovingly&logically yours, Laurie