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Q: Dear Laurie,

Okay, so I know this gets old, but my ex, whom I dated for 2 years keeps stringing me along! I know I made some mistakes in the relationship (I broke up with him). We spent too much time with each other and had no life outside the relationship. I have friends now and do new, fun things without him. I mean being with someone, anyone 24/7 is a pain. I guess I kind of begged for him to come back, but I really want things to work with him. When I tell him all that stuff, he says, "I don't think it will work". But he still contacts me (mostly he does this when I seem as if I've moved on) and asks if I'm with anyone, what I'm doing and comes over (yeah.. I let him over), and he gives me that hope only to shatter it with he doesn't have feelings. Plus last week I found out he likes someone new (they work together). It's been over a month now since we've been officially over, 2 days since the last time we've kissed/cuddled (he initiated) and a few hours since his last text message. Why won't he just leave me alone now that he's interested in someone else? Is he just trying to play me? Oh, plus when he left the other night he leaves it as he's not sure what he wants right now and I say that's fine soon as you leave, you leave my life for good and he says he has charm and he can charm me back (kind of jerky, I know). Is the guy I dated gone and not coming back? So many questions and no answers! Can he just be so nice and not have "feelings" for me? I want him back and I know it's pathetic. Why won't he just leave me alone if he doesn't want me?

Signed: Feeling Rejected

A: Dear String-a-ling,

•  Kudos for knowing "this gets old" but minus a kudo for not doing anything to save the rest of us from it so that's a total of 1.3 kudos for you.

•  Did you take your meds?

There is a relatively new theory in quantum physics called String Theory (ironically, not named after you, but should be. There is also something called self awareness, which is not a theory per se, but something you could use to look into when you get a minute).

So, this radical String Theory might hold the key to unifying the four forces of (your conflicted) nature thereby explaining the universe. Then again it might not as there are a few kinks to work out like the 10 dimension requirement thingy...You also have to accept odd notions of time and space such as physically arriving at a certain spot after you've already arrived or being in two places at the same time, but let's not get mired in the details. Let's not miss the forest because we're not sure if the trees are really there or not, right? Right!

The Four Forces of (your not-yet-unified) Nature:

Force #1 Gravity: "Dated for 2 years.I broke up with him" (if that's not grave, I don't know what is)

Caveat emptor (that's a latin note to the dude meaning: be glad you got out while you could).

Force #2 Electromagnetic: "begged for him to come back" (or hoping the old rules of attraction still apply)

Because breakup, uh, cuddling (and text messaging) feels so good.

Force #3 Strong Nuclear: "I want him back and I know it's pathetic." (first sane thing this girl has written)

No, what's pathetic here is that you let someone you wanted go. You didn't, or pretended you didn't, want him until someone else wanted him which reminds me of when I was about ten and gave my Lite Brite away bcse I was over "making things with light". At least I thought I was until my friend Amy England came over to play, saw my Lite Brite on the heave-ho pile and asked if she could have it. Without a word my mom handed it to her. Amy was ecstatic. I had never wanted that Lite Brite so bad in my life (I know it's pathetic.)

Force #4 Weak Nuclear: "he says, 'I don't think it will work.'" (he be right)

Relationships end for a reason. In this case, it ended because "being with someone, anyone, 24/7 is a pain" and you can now "do new, fun things without him." Only now that he's gone it's not so fun, right? Until you can save up for a personality makeover or are abducted by aliens your indecision, inability to communicate your needs and general lunacy will keep wreaking havoc on the nucleus of this union. That's hot, I mean weak!

The Short Answer : String-a-licious, you've done enough damage. Move on. Yes, there are always two sides to every unifying theory so you are not completely to blame for the dissolution of the relationship, but you are responsible for your, well, shhhhenanigans. Do some self reflection. Figure out who you really want in your universe. Go out and get him and then, this time, actually keep him.

Lovingly&logically yours, Laurie