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Ask Laurie

Q: Dear Laurie:

I have been having trouble asking girls out. I just don't have enough guts to ask a girl out. I mean I really like girls but I just don't know what to do. Do you? Please answer my question and tell me.

A: Dear You-Didn't-Sign-Your-Note: I'm sure you really like girls and equally sure you don't know what to do. I hear--day and night, night and day, in the morning, after lunch, before nap time, and during all points in between--how much everyone, and their mother, hates rejection (because that's your problem, you know--you're terrified of being turned down by the Missy of your dreams). Welcome to the club Mr. You-Didn't-Sign-Your-Note. Who doesn't (hate rejection)?! I am amazed that the human species continues to proliferate in spite of how scared everyone one is to talk to everyone else. But anyway.

The solution is called: baby steps. Think of other areas of your life where you have taken a little risk and it has paid off. Like the time you weren't sure you had the right answer in class but you raised your hand anyway. Or maybe you tried out for the j.v. soccer team and got on. Or when you accidentally tore one of the streamers off the handlebar of that Harley Davidson and had to fess up...

The point IS to get better at something you have to DO that something (practise does make perfect). And also KNOW that everyone else, no matter how much they posture and blow smoke out of their asses I mean noses, is scared also (even the girls you want to ask out; they're afraid too but hopefully not of you in that bad creepy way).

The not-so-short answer: Here's your homework assignment. Make eye contact with a girl you like and smile at her. THAT'S ALL. I guarantee you one of these girls will (eventually) smile back thereby building your self confidence. You can then move on to Phase Two which is "striking up a conversation" and before you know it you'll come to that awkward silence where you have to say: "Uh, gee, (girl's name), would you like to go out sometime? And she'll say, "Uh, gee, (your name), yeah, that'd be nice." You'll get her number, take her out, meet her mother, and soon you'll be writing me letters about how you can't stand being stuck with this one person and asking should you be getting a divorce...

Lovingly and logically yours, Laurie