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Q: Okay, I don't usually ask for advice on my personal life but I am in need of some advice. And not the kind of advice that I could get from my mother, so please help.

I have been with one person for the last four, almost five years. We recently got married. For the first four years of our relationship, we did the deed roughly once a week. We lived with our parents, about an hour and a half away from each other, so we only really saw each other once a week. I was on the Depo-Provera shot. I went off the shot in April and we were married in July.

Since I was off the shot, I have been raging with hormones. I am all over him once, twice, three times EVERY day. I had him to a point where he didn't care if he got any or not, he simply enjoyed spending time with me. Holding my hand, cuddling and the whole nine yards.

So, now I have turned into a hornball and he thinks there is something wrong with me. I think it is perfectly natural that after four years of suppressed hormones, then going off the medicine that suppressed those hormones, that I would be all horned up.

Anyway, he has lost his drive in the four years before I went off the shot. I am trying help him get his drive up. I have even gone so far as to fulfill some of his deepest fantasies. One involved being outside and the other involved a French maid's outfit. What else can I do? I love him and want him to enjoy doing the deed as much as I do now. Help.

Signed: Not getting enough

A: Dear Not Gettin':

Not the kind of advice you could get from your mother, eh? Well, you've come to the right place because guess what? I ain't your mother! Never have been, never will be. I like these kinds of questions because they make room for a little learning in the classroom of love. Matters of the heart combined with factual tidbits. For those of you out there who think Depo Provera is the latest rock band to rival 'N Sync-O de Mayo or the Back Alleycat Boys listen up. Depo Provera is an injectable form of birth control that is administered every 12 weeks. That's right, one shot and no babies for 12 weeks. BUT if you want to catch communicable diseases you still can (if not use a condom)! For the latest scoop on the Depo poop see: http://www.depo-provera.com/

Okay, now that everyone is on the same page let's get back to Pas D'amour (that's French (maid) for "Not Gettin' Any") So Pas, not enough l'action eh (loose translation: pole in the hole)? After careful scrutiny of your note I'm afraid you're not going to like my answer. It seems you and your mate have differing sexual (bon) appetits. If, while you were dating, Pole was satisfied doing "the deed" once a week why do you think he'd want it 14-21 times more just because you got married? If he was asking for it more often and you all just couldn't get together I could make sense of your confusion but if he wasn't, four years is a pretty good dry run in terms of gauging levels of desire.

So, you went off this shot and became a 24/7 "hornball". No wonder you "had him to a point where he didn't care if he got any or not"--you severely depleted his mojo and are lucky he didn't go into shock.

I have a couple of suggestions:

1. Ask your doctor if this post-shot effect will level off once your hormones readjust to pre-shot levels.

2. While fulfilling deepest fantasies is fun I don't think it should be done in the hopes of getting some(thing) out of it. A weird pressure/expectation may build up in your partner which can lead to resentment or anxiety--neither of which is very good for indoor or outdoor bedroom activities. For the most part, lovers should come to the bed-gaining table under their own free will.

3. Bottomline is: you have a greater sexual appetite than your husband. How to meet in the middle? Maybe part of your hunger can be satisfied by yourself little missy. Yes, you read me right. Sometimes when you find yourself thinking: "me feel horny" you could serve up a little dinner for one. That's right: MASTURBATE. Say your husband's willing to accommodate you 70% of the time and the other 30% you do your little parlez-vous francais number on yourself (and sister please don't tell me you've either never masturbated or you think it's evil). If--GOD FORBID--you've never done it there's no time like the present to learn. AND, get this, I'll bet anything if your husband knows you're doing the deed all by your lonesome it'll turn him on and he'll want to join in! If not, oh well, at least your gettin' yours.

The Short Answer: Being a couple is all about compromise and not about getting what you want when you want it. Getting what you want when you want it is called being a wah wah crybaby and few marriages survive the pressures of that. Oh and hey, one more thought: now that you're married and off the shot chances are you'll soon be wanting to have a real live (cry)baby of your own. Once that happens most couples never want sex again--problem solved!

Lovingly and logically yours, Laurie