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Ask Laurie

Q: Hi,

I've had sex twice with two different partners and I was wondering: do guys get turned on or off with the girl partner being wet?? My first hated it. He thought it was wronge or something. Is it wronge?? But the second time, it like majorly turned on my guy. So, what does the normal guy expect and want, wet or dry???

A: Hi yourself--

Okay, well first off, what's wrong here is that it's wrong to spell "wrong" wronge. Got it? OKAY! Secondly, there is no such thing as a "normal" guy. And thirdly--"wet or dry???--sister, it ain't a martini...

Nothing about sex is ever wrong as long as the two people doing the deed feel good about whatever it is that's going on. Got it? OKAY! People certainly have different preferences--obviously guy #1 prefers the dry savannah while guy #2, as you have stated, prefers the wet rainforest. Please do note that guy #1 who told you your wet factor was "wrong" is an asshole. That sort of excess commentary is rude and unnecessary. Who came to earth and named him perfect rod o' the year? So he doesn't care for your river of life. Keep it to yourself...pin dick.

If you guys had become a longer-term couple and the wetness issue really bothered him the two of you would have had to find a way to talk about it--nicely. You would have had to be creative about ways to accommodate his and your preferences. It still doesn't make you bad or wrong. (I was thinking one way might be to keep a bedside towel handy...)

Getting moist down below is a natural part of the arousal process so that when you're ready for the big kilbasa it doesn't stick which can be painful (some women don't get wet enough and must use an artificial lubricant*). Many men like it when a women gets wet because it's a signal to him that he is turning his woman on. But hey different strokes for different folks. And sounds like you were "right" in taking a pass on #1's "stroke".

The Short Answer: A woman's early sexual experiences significantly color how she feels about herself, her body and sex over the long haul. Initially, it's all so new you assume your somewhat more experienced partner knows it all. You take everything he (or she) says as carved-in-stone truth. Well, it ain't.

Sex is one of those area where people can feel EXTREMELY vulnerable--it's a rare moment when thought comes as initially intended. Guy #1 just sounds like an insensitive arse--too bad he had to be #1 let alone any number at all. Good luck with your subsequent digits.

Lovingly and Logically yours, Laurie

*A note about artificial lubricants--always use a water-based lubricant with a condom or barrier-method birth control (i.e. diaphragm). Non water-based lubricants render condoms and barrier-method birth control ineffective by eating a hole in them.