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Q: How do you get more people interested in living for Jesus Christ?

Signed: Jets

A: So, there I am--waiting for that special question to come across my e-mailbox (of course, all questions I receive are special because each and everyone one of you is special...) but, as I was saying, there I am waiting for that REALLY special question, the one that SPEAKS to me and then, like a flash of light, there it was, from "Jets":

How do you get more people interested in living for Jesus Christ?

I've been meaning to work religion in to a column answer and just hadn't yet found the right segue and now, like manna from heaven, serendipity, synchronicity, here it is. First, let me point out that I am not a religious woman but I am also no atheist. I DO believe there is something going on here that's bigger than the both of us but since every time I open a newspaper or turn on the radio one devout religious group is slaying an opposing devout religious group I now say: down with organized crime I mean religion. Yeah, yeah, I accept and respect each and every one of you in your unique but different wholenesses--it's just that license-to-kill part I have a hard time with.

Now, on with the question. At first read I saw:

"How do you get more people living for Jesus Christ" as in: how does one to get all the other ones around that first one to sing the praises of J.C., the long-haired skinny One, but then I thought no, maybe Jets is punctuationally-challenged and really meant:

"How do you get more people living, for Jesus Christ" as in: god dammit folks, live it up already. See the power of the comma in that last interpretation? You know? And all of this reminded me of a particularly impactful teaching movie I was shown in Mrs. Smith's third-grade class on "Punctuation: the Forgotten Language." There was a boy and a girl working on a project together:

Girl: "You don't mind working on the project now?"
Boy: "No I don't, want to do it now?"

But with a simple slip of that gosh-darn comma the boy turns into the stubborn surly type that all you women write in to me about and the scenario takes a decidedly negative turn: Boy: "No, I don't want to do it now."

Hunh! Put that in your comma-loving pipe and smoke it...

I know some of you out there are gasping as you read this thinking: oh, that Laurie! She's so harsh, so irreverent, so rude--her poor mother! But you're also the ones that secretly listen to Howard Stern and then publicly poo-poo him when making polite party conversation. Besides, what does Jets take me for, the next messiah? I kindly recommend the following book to her: For Whom the Clue Phone Rings...

How does this all relate to things lover-ly and logical, you ask? Well, The Short Answer might be: it really doesn't, but the even shorter answer might be: who cares?

Lovingly and logically yours, Laurie