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Q: Dear Logical Laurie:
(I have more of a practical question which is why I'm leaving the "love" part out of it). I live in a large city and have been contemplating a move to a smaller, more outdoorsy place for close to three years now. I broke up with my significant loser a solid two years ago and I can pretty much do my work anywhere. And while I enjoy numerous friend and acquaintance relationships here no one's captured my heart so technically I am free to go. And yet I haven't/can't/didn't. Any thoughts?
Signed: Stuck Stacey
A: Dear Stuck:
Time to &%$#*! or get off the proverbial pot my dear, wouldn't you say? Three years?! I can't imagine you're getting any younger. And while this is not Laurie's MoveLogic I will expound further on your question simply because you were the only who didn't ask: how can I get her/him to notice me (even though it's pretty gosh darn clear from her not noticing you that she doesn't want you noticed.)
So, you think your dilemma does not involve love, eh? Well, let moi clarify: "love" does not only refer to lusty backseat two-backed beasting. Nay! I use the word "love", and would now like all of you out there too, to refer to life's emotional/gut/intuitive side. while "logic" covers the reasoned, more well thought side that people all too often rely solely on in cases of heavy decision making (such as this). If moving ain't an emotional decision I don't know what is.
"...no one's captured my heart"
I brought in my resident write-with-responsibility expert and this is what she came up with:
A. I haven't made my heart available for capture.
B. I'm not quite ready to put my heart back on the public chopping block.
C. I WANT TO MOVE AND TAKE MY HEART WITH ME.
(C. may be a clue to your should-I-stay-or-should-I-go-now question. Ponder it assiduously.)
#1--Moving, i.e., change--of the major variety, is scary. You don't know anyone. Your phone doesn't ring. It's way LONELY! All your insecurities that you'd tucked away so neatly come back to haunt you with a vengeance BUT that goes away (in about a year...)
#2--You've made lists, checked them twice. Over and over, again and again, you've outlined the pros and cons (over the course of three years, I can only imagine--oi vay!) You've bored your friends over rounds and rounds of Amstel Lights (that's what you drink, I'm sure), and even asked the dog (if you have one). Stace, it's time for action, for ass in gear, for "just do it" (only you don't have to exploit underpaid workers in third world countries to do it). I don't think this subject would be on your mind for three years solid if there weren't some "truth" to it. The time is nigh to wiggle your butt to the edge of that cliff. Take a look down. Massage the hurling feeling in the pit of your stomach and leap like mad. GO GO GO!!
#3--Look on the bright side: when you're new in a new place the world is more shiny and interesting and the world, for some odd reason, finds you more shiny and interesting. Life takes on a new energy like in college. Remember, how, at the beginning of every year, the guys would rub their...hands together in anticipation of the new freshman crew? Whoever got excited about a returning sophomore or junior (and senior women--puh-leaze--they were no more than grandmothers waiting to graduate)? Once moved, you'll be new girl on the block, bright eyed and bushy tailed, appealing in your naive grandeur! Embrace it! Live it! Be it! Because your newness will only last a few months and then you'll be old and boring again like the rest of us.
The Short Answer: I consulted my keyboard and it has unequivocally indicated it's time to vamoose, get out of dodge, begin a new life (it typed these words, didn't it?). Time to find new running paths, grocery stores, doggie parks, hair stylists, car mechanics, and maybe even a new and improved significant loser I mean lover. Ponder that and good luck Stuck!
Lovingly and logically yours, Laurie
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