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Ask Laurie

Q: Dear Laurie:

I just want to know why my boyfriend that I have been with for 2 years wants to see me have sex with other people (women or men)? He even says he would like to see me have sex with a friend of mine. I did it once. Not with my friend. With someone I didn't know. It was different, but it wasn't anything great. He is a reserved guy except for when it comes to sex and when we go out drinking. I really love him but this bothers me. What is your advice?

Kim

A: Kimee, Kimchee, Kimba, Kim-girl, I am the last one on earth to pass judgement on one's sexual desires/repertoire/appetites (why, just last week a guy wrote in about experimenting with ice during foreplay...) BUT, and here is where you need to pay attention, it's got to be MUTUALLY acceptable. For example, Mr. Iceman and his frozen chick-on-a-stick BOTH loved the idea, made it very playful, had explosive orgasms over it (lucky dogs)--it made them both feel GOOD.

You, on the other hand, feel BAD (opposite of good) about your requested sexploits--you yourself write, "this bothers me". We don't like feeling bad, especially in the bedroom, and we don't like partners that insist we do things that make us feel bad (in the bedroom or elsewhere. We also don't like partners that do the Dr. Jekyll/Hyde thing when they drink but that's another answer for another day.)

Kimla, Kimko, Kimkim, it was nice of you to oblige your boyfriend's fantasies by sleeping with a total stranger (and I hope you used a condom) but seeing as you have decided "it wasn't anything great" enough of that. Enough I say. Ca suffit, get it? Tell him to get over himself. And if this swinging gent really loves you and respects you and your boundaries/needs he'll CUT THE CRAP. (By the way, what is it you "really love" about "him"?

The Short Answer: Attention shoppers, "The sexual buffet is now closing. Please, only ONE partner to a customer. Form a line and you will be served in the order in which you are received."

Lovingly and logically yours, Laurie