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Q: Dear Laurie: Why do I feel the need to apologize to my boyfriend for yelling at him for sleeping with another women?

A: I don't even know where to begin with this one it's so sad. But of course with that said, I have begun and so here we go. I don't know T.D., why do you? Could it be YOU HAVE NO SELF ESTEEM? Dear, dear T.D., in all seriousness, when I say "sad" I do not mean to sound disparaging or condescending. I say "sad" in it's truest sense as in it makes me sorry to hear about a young woman who feels so poorly about herself that she is willing to tolerate extremely rude and disrespectful behavior and then feel guilty about getting upset about said rude and disrespectful behavior. Who is raising today's youth?!?!!?!? Never mind--rhetorical question. Are there two sides to every story? Sure. Have you only given me yours? Yeah. Assuming YOU haven't cheated on your boyfriend and he's doing one of those very mature retaliatory maneuvers AND assuming you're not some psycho bitch from hell my advice to you is as follows: DUMP HIS SORRY ASS and get yourself a good therapist. You, as reader, say, "Uh, Laurie, we've heard all this before. How's about a little something new?" Ok, smart asses, let me make my argument more compelling. Follow the bouncing ball and read along with me. T.D. writes: "Why do I feel the need to apologize to my boyfriend for yelling at him for sleeping with another women?" Bottom line? Truth be told? No ifs, ands, or buts? You feel the need to apologize because: A. You are terrified of being alone (as are we all only some of us either hide or cope with it better than others, including yourself.) B. You are the kind of person who was taught it's unsavory, unpleasant, unbeautiful, unwomanly (for a more comprehensive list look up "un" in Webster's Collegiate Dictionary) to get angry and if you do, EVEN IF IT'S TOTALLY JUSTIFIED, you will be abandoned (see A.) C. You feel lousy about yourself otherwise being treated poorly wouldn't feel so good/comfortable/compelling. NOW is everyone with me? On board the gravy train of the aforementioned "DUMP...therapist" scenario? Uh, yeah! The Short Answer: Clearly, you're not ready to leave this pig I mean guy (or you would have) but try telling him, calmly, collected-ly, that should he cheat again, it's over. And then, when he does cheat again, feel guilty and stay (no, just kidding). And then, when he does cheat again, cut off all contact immediately and forever. Got it? Good. Oh, and repeat after me: Once a cheater always a cheater. And then say: Peter, Peter pumpkin eater, had a wife and couldn't keep her, put her in a pumkin shell and there he kept her very well...

Lovingly and logically yours, Laurie