Back | Forward

Ask Laurie

Q: Dear Laurie:

No this isn't a marriage question! I have been seeing my honey for about a year, and amazingly still haven't met his father...who lives in town. Also I have yet to be shown my boyfriend's house! My trust is beyond what's expected and holding my tongue back takes much patience. Describing the details would take too long but *divorce*, *stubborn*, *hates woman*. My honey states that his father will meet me when he's ready...but it's like saying "Jump"; "How high?"

When the opportunity comes, should I completely ignore his father when he decides to meet me? Help!!

A: I don't entirely understand this writer's question but the use of asterisks intrigued me.

As you all know I work hard on being understanding, seeing the issue from both sides, avoiding judgement, and allowing people to do what they need to do in their own sweet time EXCEPT IN HIS CASE. I have many questions which I will now outline for you and that $%#!&-wad of a father (and your wimpy/wiley boyfriend may listen in):

1. Why doesn't your boyfriend want you to meet his father? Yeah, yeah, you read that right--if your boyfriend wanted you to meet his father (and to see his own house for that matter) you would've seen both of them by now BELIEVE ME SISTER!

2. What are you afraid of losing by making your needs known (in this case being introduced to father-of-boyfriend and seeing boyfriend's habitat--(where have you guys been shacking for the past year anyway?) Rhetoriccal question--we all know you're afraid of losing "honey". Asking to have basic needs met is not unusual nor should it be viewed, by a normal individual, as an imposition. Maybe your boyfriend's an avid Silence-of-the-Lamb groupie and doesn't want you to see his private moth or girl-skin collection. Who knows, but what's the big secret?

3. What other areas of your life does your "honey" control? I'm assuming (I know: "ass" out of "u" and "me"--it's a risk I'll take) boyfriend calls the shots with most of the things you do and I don't like the sounds of that. While you say "this isn't a marriage question" maybe you should view this as a relationship-evaluation answer, i.e. get out.

The short answer: Oi vay! I don't know why, but I don't like the sounds of your situation AT ALL. Granted I may be missing crucial information--like how twenty years ago, in a weird twist of fate, you were put up for adoption by your boyfriend's father--but I say it's high time "honey" put his sticky cards on the table.

Lovingly and logically yours, Laurie